THE PANTRY

Many of you who know me know I have rampant and certifiable control issues. On a scale of one to ten in the control world, I’d say I rate at about a 1500. Why is this important you ask? Well it’s like this. I have an insane amount of stuff. Now I’m not talking about the normal items like clothes, books and chotchkies that most people have too much of- I am talking about things like spatulas. Spatulas, kitchen gadgets, “teacup collections”, serving platters, and worst of all….FOOD.


Where did it all come from?! Did it procreate in the boxes on the way over the ocean?! I wonder sometimes if I was homeless and starving in another life. I have, seriously, 7 cans of green enchilada sauce, ten packages of whole wheat lasagna noodles 8 bottles of chili garlic sauce and enough salad dressing to keep a small third world country happy to eat salads for a decade or more. I have to be honest and admit though, that I am not sure that even a homeless person could get by on that many pureed green chilies, spicy garlic sauce and fiber-filled pasta. Talk about tummy issues….but that’s another story.

Why is it that I felt that I had to ship all of the above stuff- and more, (you have no idea) over the ocean-blue and back into the land of everything? I suppose the last six years were a lesson in survival of the fittest with concern to grocery shopping. I can’t even begin to count how many times I drove all the way to the American grocery store on base, only to arrive and find that 40% of the things on my list were either not available or discontinued. I learned really quickly that if I wanted something either now, or if I thought I might possibly need it in the future, I’d have to grab it while I could. Another reason is that I had NO storage in my kitchen overseas. What I did have however was a vast and large basement. We called it: The Catacombs. Yes- it was that terrifying big. Extra food went to the basement and well, you know the story, out of sight out of mind. So the next time I decided to make an enchilada casserole- I just hopped in the car and drove to the grocery store and started the process all over again. My basement looked so much like the grocery store that at one point, I actually caught myself thinking that if the power shut off for an extended period of time and/or the world came to an end- I would be able to continue to feed my family; for years.

Hence, the overabundance of canned goods and condiments in my pantry now- none of which is entirely edible on its own and all for which I have no immediate plan for. I suppose the process of systematically going through every room with Jemi will eventually mean that the pantry won’t escape scrutiny and it also means, of course, that I’d better start coming up with some creative ways to use this overabundance of sauces, condiments and pasta in my meals from now until eternity on; unless maybe it begins by donating all my extra food to the homeless. I’m sure they can come up with a much more creative way to serve up those cans of enchilada sauce anyway.